Listen, beards aren’t for everyone.
Kids for example. They shouldn’t have beards.
If there is a 5 year old with a full face warmer at your son’s child care then you need to alert the authorities.
Because that might well be a pedophile in disguise.
And sure they’ll tell you all sorts of lies when you tackle them into a tree like “I’m not a pedophile, I’m here to pick up my son” but that’s the oldest trick in the pedophile book.
Not that I’d ever read that book. But I have it on good authority that’s the oldest trick in it.
Of course there are pros and cons to the ol’ chin curtain. Everyone thinks you’re a lumberjack for a start.
You’ll be asked to cut down so many trees you’ll never get any time to yourself. It’s not efficient. Plus do you know how hard it is to get sap off your hands? It’s chaos. Not sure if that’s a pro or a con though. Depends how much you hate trees.
Then there’s beard care. Applying wax is a nightmare…
- You have to put your wax on an applicator pad.
- Then apply one section at a time.
- Buff off the excess product.
- Rotate your towel frequently.
- Make sure you get behind the wing mirrors.
No, wait, sorry. That’s how to wax your car. My mistake.
I can tell you I was approached by a woman in a bar the other day. And yes ladies, I had my beard. And sure she was just asking me to get out of the way while she took a selfie with her friends but she still approached me to say it.
I don’t know. I’ll let you be the judge.