I can, and I have had a full beard since I turned 30. The longest I’ve let it get is about five inches, but I usually keep it to around one inch. That’s because, while long beards look good, they also shed and get in the way when you’re eating and get caught in your zipper when you zip your coat.
Some questions about a beard that you didn’t think to ask, but I’ll answer anyway because I like talking about myself and my awesome beard:
- Do you wash it with shampoo or face soap?
- Shampoo.
- Do you comb your beard?
- Yes, the same time I comb my hair. Both together take about 30 seconds.
- Do they cut it for you when you get the hair on the top of your head cut?
- Yes, but they charge extra for the beard.
- Why do some guys wax their mustaches?
- So the hair goes to the side and not down, because it gets in the way when you’re eating if it covers your lips.
- Do you wax your mustache?
- No. I trim it so it’s not in the way of my lips.
- Is it fun to stroke your beard?
- Indeed, it is! It’s like having a permanent furry animal to pet whenever you want, just by bringing your hand to your chin.
- Does your wife like your beard?
- Yep!
- Does it hurt when others pull your beard?
- My youngest child thinks it’s funny to pull my beard because it makes me jump. Yes. It hurts.
- Does your wife pull your beard when she’s mad at you?
- Please don’t give her any ideas.
- How much have you saved on razors and shave gel since you quit shaving?
- At least $2,000.
- Does the beard actually keep your face warm in the winter?
- Yes! It also looks badass when it catches snow/gets frozen.